They are going to yank you about, the politicians. If you thought they flip-flopped on the campaign trail, well, watch them do somersaults and U-turns as the coalition talks begin in the next few days. There’s going to be so much whiplash you will need a neck brace.

Party leaders you thought were sworn enemies will be huddling together at the results centre in Midrand this week. Contact numbers will be shared. Late-night whisky sessions will go on until the next morning. Harried party officials will be shuttling between Joburg, Cape Town, Durban and even Mangaung to offer sweeteners to angry party activists. Deals will be made, and voters will most likely not like them. Coalitions that will be forged in the next few weeks will run the gamut from the not-great to the hold-your-nose-and-try-not-to-puke variety...

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